Why Linux sucks - an anecdote

I am just tired of listening to people coming to me and saying: “have you tried Linux?”, “see how cool it is!”, “you won’t ask anything more!”. I was sort of fed up and tried my hands on collecting some things that are against Linux. Here is a list of 10 points that proves that Linux sucks.

1. It sucks because it is free of cost. There can’t be any free lunch in today’s world. I know what these free things are up to.
2. It sucks because there is no copyright infringement or any other limitation on the use. Anybody and everybody can contribute in its development. It is messy.
3. It sucks because nobody can claim the ownership on it—people just contribute and develop. Who is the authority on it and who is liable? I don’t like software that are uncertain about who is handling them.
4. It sucks because it has the spirit of spreading computers to one and all. What I would do if everybody knows computers and knows how to use it. It will ruin my business and my panache in my small towns where I am the celebrity and the-computer-guy.
5. It sucks because there are many distributions in it. People just don’t stick with one distro—I like to choose one thing and then stay with it.
6. It sucks because its release cycle is 6 months—I have to upgrade it time and again. I hate these upgrades making me feel that I will be termed a retard if I don’t upgrade.
7. It sucks because people don’t know what is the exact pronunciation of it? – Linix, Lynex, Linax, or what. I mean it does not have a name that can be uniform throughout the world. A name is a mark of functionality—people who claim that it works so well and does not have any working problems are under an illusion.
8. It sucks because there are communities and groups who help you if you face problems. I don’t like talking to humans. I love the computer sounds that make you feel talking to aliens.
9. It sucks because it does not have any problem and is simple to use—how can a system without problem exist? A problem-less system is not reliable…there must be something fishy about it.
10. It sucks because everybody who uses it says: “I like it!” This is perhaps a borrowed sentence. Nobody is giving genuine review of it. How could be a system for fool-proof?

And the very best reason for it: open source. What does it mean? Is the source open and very wide from where these developers are taking new updates. Surely, one day they will term it as “empty source” or will have to “re-source”. I am just closing down my system after writing this post because I was working in Linux while writing this post. (!)